Being the father of a girl or a boy: differences
It is official; you are going to be a father! Know that a father does not behave the same way with a son or a girl.
A model of identification …
From the beginning, the father is the one who opens the mother-child couple. It makes it possible to balance the psychic structuring of his children by comforting his boy in his sex and being a “revelation” for his daughter. Thus the father plays an important role in the construction of the sexual identity of the child. However, a very different character, be it a boy or a girl. Model identification for his boy, this one looks to look like him, it is a kind of ideal model for his daughter, the one she will seek after puberty.
The father is more demanding with a boy
Often a dad is more severe with his son than with his daughter. This one knows very well to coax it while a boy often goes to the confrontation. Also, the level of demand placed on a kid is more strict, more is expected of him. The father often invests his son in a more fundamental mission in life, to earn a living, to maintain a family … the notion of breadwinner is still relevant.
The father has more patience with his daughter
Because it does not project the same things on each of the sexes, a dad sometimes tends to show much more patience with his daughter. Even unintentionally, a failure of her son will generate disappointment while that of her daughter rather of compassion and encouragement. It is common for a dad to expect more results from his son, and more quickly.
Girl or boy: a dad has a different complicity
The relationship that is created with a parent is gendered. A child does not act the same way with his father or mother, and a father does not have the same attitude according to the sex of his child. This does not prevent him from creating a real complicity that will last a lifetime. It starts with the games. It is a photo, but often the heck and the fight are reserved for the boys while the girls have right to games calmer, interspersed nevertheless of attacks of tender “guilds.” As children grow up, and sexual identification takes root, complicity is built on one side in virility and on the other side of charm.
Girl or boy: Dad does not feel the same pride
His two children also make him proud of each other … but not for the same reasons! He does not put the same expectations on his son and his daughter. With a boy, it is, of course, the high side that is the prime. He is strong, he knows how to defend himself, he does not cry, in short, he behaves like a man. That he is a leader, even slinger is not to displease him.
With his daughter, it is rather a grace, distinction, malice that enchants him. A little girl, coquettish and sensitive, with the image that he has of women, makes him proud. The rugby player against the star dancer, the scientific disciplines against the photographic subjects …
Father gives more freedom to his son
This is perhaps the biggest difference in treatment of dads: while he has difficulty letting his misses grow, he often pushes his son to independence. This phenomenon can be found in all areas of everyday life. At the park, he will invite his son to launch himself alone on the big slide while he will not let go of his daughter’s hand, even if to contort in all directions. At school, his daughter’s tears may cause him a whiff of tenderness when he feels embarrassed if his son expresses his fear or grief.
In general, he is much more protective for his daughter than for his son, that he will always incite to brave the danger, resuming the adage of Kipling “you will be a man, my son.”
The father takes care of a baby boy more quickly
It is almost unanimous; the dads are more at ease to take care of their kid than their little girl. The girl’s “tricks” baffle them, they hesitate to wash or change them, they do not know how to make a quilt and wonder why this summer’s Patna court is so short this winter! With a boy, it flows from the source; he reproduces gestures that he has always known. Everything makes sense to him, a boy dresses “normally,” he only coats himself, we do not spread cream (well that is what he believes) … no question of barrette, tights, pull that Put under the dress or on the dress? Pants, a polo shirt, a sweater, it is simple, it is like him!
The father has a special tenderness for his daughter
Love is undoubtedly so profound for all children, but the signs of sensitivity are not necessarily the same. Very cuddly with baby indiscriminately of his sex, dad often puts a distance with his son when he grows up. He continues to blow his darling on his lap when he begins to set up more manly “braces” with his son. However, children also participate in this phenomenon. The little girls know how to melt their dad, they regularly charm him while very soon the boys reserve this kind of sweetness to their mother.