Father/daughter relationship: why are we so connected to our dads?
The father-daughter relationship is a special relationship that evolves continually. The father has influence in many areas, which explains a certain number of behaviors that his little protected will have in the future. Zoom on this link that unites father and daughter.
An Inverted Oedipus, called Electra Complex
Until the age of three, the little girl carries a great affection to her mother. Then she moves away from her first fusional love – her mother – to turn to her dad, become the object of all attraction, dreaming of only one thing, conquer it.
The little girl returns in a game of seduction somewhat pushed, devoting an unconditional love and an unfailing admiration for her father. It is then the role of the father to put his daughter in his place and tell him that Daddy is the lover of Mom.
Thus, in adolescence, the complex resolves itself, detaches itself from its father, Experiences desire, and attraction for others other than her parents. She then develops her personality.
A relationship of complicity persists, but a link with more modesty and reserve is woven.
The first man of his life
A little girl needs to see her parents who love and desire each other, indispensable so that she can, in turn, become loved and loving.
Thanks to her father who showed her the way, she too wishes to live a relationship full of love and desire, like that lived by her parents. The loving gaze that her father carries to her mother is decisive for the girl, so that she is happy and that she can flourish without fear of the couple.
The father helps his daughter acquire a femininity and develop it. Notably, with the words used (to tell her that she is pretty, that this skirt is going to delight her), the attentions carried (offer her a ring, a doll …), etc.
The male look is essential Since it asserts itself about it. He must be admiring, proud and conveying a positive image of his daughter.
Between a father and a girl, a relationship of love, tenderness, and admiration takes place. The father must encourage and support her. He is a real guide to the outside world. Indeed, dads have a decisive impact on their child’s life, both professionally and personally and in love.
A relationship that becomes more involved with adolescence
At the end of adolescence, the Electra Complex! A distancing is established between the daughter and her father, essential to preparing her future links with men.
The girl becomes more modest; the ties become more and tenser. The father must continue to value the femininity and beauty of his daughter, giving him permission to please, but above all to accept that it is in the eyes of other men.
This period of adolescence, when a few upheavals occur, such as the silhouette that changes, the first loves that arrive – may be lived with incomprehension by the father who wonders why his little girl locks herself in her room and Refuses any affection on his part. At the same time she moves away from him, But Worse still, she seems to be getting closer to her mother.
However, dads must continue to stay close to their daughter. Even if she appears to be alien, a reassuring and admiring look must persist, for, despite appearances, the role of the father is paramount, also during this period, for her daughter to flourish.