My son is depressing
He hardly goes out anymore, does not see his friends anymore and pushes you away if you ask him questions. This attitude alerts you; it lasts for 15 days. Your son is probably going through a phase of depression. Is this normal? You would like to understand what is happening. What behavior to adapt to help him?
My son is depressing, what to do?
Stay alert, without dramatizing
Your 16-year-old son does not escape the excesses of adolescence: mood changes, sudden depression, euphoria … He had a fight with his girlfriend, or he was hit several bad shots, these are events that disturb and may lead to self-withdrawal or aggression. This is normal, but do not neglect this incident of course because of the teenager, who lives in the moment, tends to imagine extreme scenarios: “It’s over, I’ll never have a girlfriend” … “I’m too bad; I’ll never make it …”
The depression is transient
A passenger depression is not alarming in itself and should not exceed 2 or 3 days. Tell him that you noticed his sadness, for example: “You do not seem to be on your plate right now.” If it’s possible without hurting him, relativize with him: “We too, we quarrel sometimes, these are things that happen.” “Ah, we’ll take your lessons in detail, and you’ll do better next time!”
Express your concern
He stresses too much, locks himself in his room with his video games for hours and refuses to talk. Either, do not upset him. Inform him of your concern. “I’m afraid something is wrong, I’m worried.” Your solicitude will annoy him a little, but it shows him that he is not alone in the face of the trials. “I think you want to get by yourself, but if you need, you know you can count on me.”
Suggest that you talk about it
If it does not come spontaneously to you and no change appears, take the lead firmly: “We need to have a discussion, do you prefer now or later?” Your attitude tells him in spite of himself that solutions exist, that obstacles can be overcome. Do not relax your vigilance and without being urgent, be present! Continue to show your concern.
And if it’s a real depression?
The depression is an illness. The signs are not going to deceive you: he isolates himself, even more, he works poorly and is no longer interested in anything, he is sad or very reactive … It is up to you to mobilize his attention because the depressive does not succeed not to “shake”: on the contrary, it slows down, ruminates black thoughts and holds everyone responsible for its condition.
Suggest that you consult a psychologist
Where does his suffering come from? Is she in a relationship with his self-confidence? With his friendly relations? With his school results? With an event of his family life? It is the work of the psychotherapist who will find the words to inform you and help you. Suggest to your son to make an appointment. If he refuses, tell him that you will consult one yourself to begin. He will see that you are resolved, it will help you to convince him little by little. To get him out of the depression, you need help.
Take care of yourself too
A perfect way to encourage your son to feel better is to take care of yourself. Take time for yourself because seeing your child depress is a painful ordeal. Suggest to your teen activities that you will practice together: “You come to the movies?” Ask him what would make him happy. If he answers “Nothing” … do not be discouraged and return to the charge at another time.
Suggest him to move
A depressive has to run his body, to circulate his energy even if he has the impression of not having any more. You can also explain to him that the stress is treated, is reduced, regulates itself thanks to exercises. You know it: yoga has taught you some of them. If he does not want to listen to you, maybe a friend can get the message across. For yourself, do not hesitate to talk to a psychotherapist who will take into account your discomfort and indirectly that of your son.
Keep your optimism
Be confident that your son will recover. Relax, project before you a peaceful future. In your daily life, do not get angry with him because of his condition. Just make him notice that he is depriving himself of certain pleasures and that it is a pity. Consider his status as a passenger. Finally, no comparisons with family members who were great depressive! On the contrary, put forward those who remain eternal good living!
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