How to set limits to my teen
When children are small, we focus on teaching standards, imposing restrictions on them and educating them in the best way so that they can develop properly. When they reach adolescence, education becomes critical, because at this age of change, both internal and external, it is essential to mark a safe path for them to develop properly As adults. Let’s see how to put limits on your teen.
- To mark boundaries, there must first be good communication. For this, help your child express his / her feelings. If your teenage child insults or pats his little brother, it is essential to ask him why he is doing this and help him to exteriorize that anger by words.
- Express your appreciation for his or her good behavior, whether it is returning to the agreed time or for good grades at school. We all like words of gratitude, they motivate us.
- Let your child participate in setting standards and limits. Thus, he will not feel them as something imposed and he will not be tempted to transgress them because they seem unjust to him, on the contrary, he will feel involved. Make him understand them, know the reasons for these rules, and help him to negotiate with words, which will be very useful to him in his adult life and to listen without being intransigent, because Is what you do with him when you let him participate, you listen to him and you give him the opportunity to collaborate.
- An example is the best way to set limits. If you type it or scream at your child, you are teaching him directly, that these are reliable methods of action in the face of disagreement, instead of teaching him to negotiate and debate. Cries wound and move away, instead, breathe deeply and prepare him to discuss by speaking intelligently and showing respect.
- Establish household chores and responsibilities by leaving room for decision. For this, sit down with your child and a paper and a pen, make a table of responsibilities of the members of the house, in which will be the decisions of each one.
- Show yourself consistent and firm about decisions. When your child sees that you do not give in, it will stop insisting. If he realizes that you are yielding or you are vulnerable, he will learn to question anything you say or any standard you impose on him.
- Be true to your values and principles. Your teenager will have to get to respect your values, although he answers negatively to you, remember that it is not his real thoughts, but it is normal in the adolescent’s behavior to question the system Control and to continue to try to change these limits. So if he tells you that his boyfriend’s parents allow him to come home later, let him know that you are not his boyfriend’s parents and that in your house there are different values.